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Madness: A Bipolar Life, by Marya Hornbacher
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An astonishing dispatch from inside the belly of bipolar disorder, reflecting major new insights
When Marya Hornbacher published her first book, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, she did not yet have the piece of shattering knowledge that would finally make sense of the chaos of her life. At age twenty-four, Hornbacher was diagnosed with Type I rapid-cycle bipolar, the most severe form of bipolar disorder.
In Madness, in her trademark wry and utterly self-revealing voice, Hornbacher tells her new story. Through scenes of astonishing visceral and emotional power, she takes us inside her own desperate attempts to counteract violently careening mood swings by self-starvation, substance abuse, numbing sex, and self-mutilation. How Hornbacher fights her way up from a madness that all but destroys her, and what it is like to live in a difficult and sometimes beautiful life and marriage -- where bipolar always beckons -- is at the center of this brave and heart-stopping memoir.
Madness delivers the revelation that Hornbacher is not alone: millions of people in America today are struggling with a variety of disorders that may disguise their bipolar disease. And Hornbacher's fiercely self-aware portrait of her own bipolar as early as age four will powerfully change, too, the current debate on whether bipolar in children actually exists.
Ten years after Kay Redfield Jamison's An Unquiet Mind, this storm of a memoir will revolutionize our understanding of bipolar disorder.
- Sales Rank: #129523 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
- Published on: 2008-04-09
- Released on: 2008-04-09
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .92" w x 5.50" l, .95 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 299 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
From Publishers Weekly
Hornbacher, who detailed her struggle with bulimia and anorexia in Wasted, now shares the story of her lifelong battle with mental illness, finally diagnosed as rapid cycling type 1 bipolar disorder. Even as a toddler, Hornbacher couldn't sleep at night and jabbered endlessly, trying to talk her parents into going outside to play in the dark. Other schoolchildren called her crazy. When she was just 10, she discovered alcohol was a good mood stabilizer; by age 14, she was trading sex for pills. In her late teens, her eating disorder landed her in the hospital, followed by another body obsession, cutting. An alcoholic by this point, she was alternating between mania and depression, with frequent hospitalizations. Her doctor explained that not only did the alcohol block her medications, it was up to her to control her mental illness, which would always be with her. This truth didn't sink in for a long, long time, but when it did, she had a chance for a life outside her local hospital's psychiatric unit. Hornbacher ends on a cautiously optimistic note—she knows she'll never lead a normal life, but maybe she could live with the life she does have. Although painfully self-absorbed, Hornbacher will touch a nerve with readers struggling to cope with mental illness. (Apr.)
Copyright � Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From Booklist
Like a horror-movie sequence that threatens never to end, Hornbacher’s testimony grabs and doesn’t let go through episode after episode of bulimia, substance abuse, and promiscuity. Mania with its attendant voices plagued Hornbacher ever since she can remember. Extreme mood swings finally led to diagnosis at 24 of bipolarity. Possibly genetic, given a family history rife with anecdotes implying mental instability going back for generations, Hornbacher’s bipolar disorder is a label she initially rejected, though she responded to medication for it. She married, and threw herself into overworking that triggered recurrences of the mood swings, two years of repeated hospitalization, then electroconvulsive therapy. With cutting perception and skill, she makes palpable not only madness’ losses but the things gained as well. --Whitney Scott
Review
"Stunning…A primal scream of a story sure to resonate even with those who possess a healthy attitude toward food and weight." --Glamour
Most helpful customer reviews
52 of 56 people found the following review helpful.
A strange read.
By Linda Gerhardt
I eagerly purchased "Madness" after its release; "Wasted" was one of the most compelling memoirs I've ever read and Hornbacher is a fascinating and incredibly talented writer. After reading about a third of the book, I found myself struck by the disparity between Marya Hornbacher the writer and Marya Hornbacher the person.
Marya the writer is thoughtful and shockingly insightful; she is hyper self-aware, almost to the point of being self-obsessed, able to write chapter after chapter of intricate prose about her own history, thoughts, and actions.
Marya the person seems to lack any self-awareness. She acts on impulse alone, jumping from one whim to the next, rarely stopping to pause and think about what she's doing. She is sucked into her own emotions and compulsions easily; she easily slips back into patterns drug & alcohol habits, compulsive spending, self-mutilation, sex-addicted behavior.
Both Maryas are interesting, and make for a hardy memoir, but there's something missing in the writing. "Madness" is extremely detached, written as if "Marya" is a fictional character being written about by an impartial observer. It's often hard to believe that Marya the writer actually did the things Marya the person did. There's plenty of pretty prose, plenty of insight, but there's no connectivity. Hornbacher is a great writer, but she is a clinical and analytical one. Sometimes that works in a memoirist's favor (see, "Darkness Visible," "Girl Interrupted") but it's just sort of strange to read someone writing about themselves in a cold, mathematical, detached sort of what when they are trying to relate periods of extreme passion & mental illness. She'll write about an epic mental breakdown or temper tantrum, but there is no fervor in the narrative that pulls you into the writer's mind & into the moment with her. I mean, say what you will about Elizabeth Wurtzel (another person who has published multiple books concerning herself & her struggles with mental illness), but she has a deeply idiosyncratic and conversational writing style that makes it very easy to imagine her acting in the temperamental, selfish, impossible, moody ways she describes. Marya Hornbacher seems like two different people in her books. It worked well in "Wasted," in which she discussed her detachment from her body and her emotions, but it just falls a little flat in "Madness." She is describing CAPSLOCK EMOTIONS, but they don't feel CAPSLOCK to the reader.
"Madness" also could have used some heavy-duty editing; the book's organization is difficult and, well, a little disorganized. And she does have a habit of presenting the same ideas and revelations with different wording over & over again. A lot could have been cut, which would have made "Madness" a more impactful read. I found it hard to get through at times. You know what they say about brevity being the soul of wit? Yeah, it's true.
None of this is to imply that "Madness" is a bad book. Far from. It's just a bit of a difficult and frustrating read at times. When it is good, it is really really good. And even when it's bad, it's not horrid.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
A must read for anyone who loves someone that is bipolar
By SeptemberBlue
I wish I had read this so much sooner. The clinical descriptions on medical and psychology websites or in the same kind of books do NOT begin to help anyone understand what is going on inside a bipolar person's mind. My fiancee was bipolar and it was hard for me to comprehend what he was going through esp when he talked about voices he heard. I found this book on Amazon along with I'm Not Crazy, Just Bipolar and had just started reading this one first when he passed away from lung cancer. To have know so much sooner what this book taught me, would have helped me help him better so much more than I was.
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Understanding the madness
By L. Finger
This book was important to me in nursing a broken heart as I had dated a bipolar man for two years and eventually we broke up due to his abrupt and extreme mood changes and his substance usage. I know that bipolar is a difficult diagnosis to have but I didn't realize the full reality of what it meant until coming upon this book. My boyfriend used to get so angry at me for walking slow, driving slow (the speed limit), or not doing anything up to his speed. In the book, the author explains that when she was in manic phase, EVERYONE seemed slow and it was excruciating to her to tolerate her perceived "slowness" of others as the thoughts inside her head were moving in warp speed. When my boyfriend was in his depressed stage he would literally disappear, not answer the phone, not talk to me, and drink. The author explains how devastating the depressive cycle was to her and how impossible it was to get up out of bed during this time, in fact she would use cocaine to get her going. She explains the relationship of the manic depressives cycles to substance usage. At times I would try to talk to my boyfriend about his "cycles" which were predictable and he would stare at me and act like he didn't know what I was talking about, which I couldn't believe, since it seemed so obvious. But in this book, the author explains her surprise as an adult when a psychologist asked her about how fast she cycled (changed moods) and she didn't know what he was talking about. To her, the moods were random and came and went without explanation. In fact the psychologist had to explain to her what a "cycle" was. She was so unaware about herself.
At the end of our relationship, my boyfriend found another woman in less than a month's time which truly hurt my feelings, and yet the author also reveals that after the breakup of her marriage she had found a new husband and moved across country in less than a month. Impulsivity, another aspect of bipolar manic phase.
Reading this revealing autobiography helped me to understand what demons my ex boyfriend was wrestling with and helped to heal some of my hurts that I had taken his behaviors personally and realized it wasn't like that. This book will not save our relationship as me and my ex have both moved on, but I applaud the author for her candid writing about a mental state that affects many of the most creative and loving people. It will also help me know ahead of time what I might be getting into should I ever be attracted to a man with bipolar again, which I actually don't think will happen, unless he is willing to take medication to treat it, which my ex expressed he did not want to do. Still, I think this is a good book to help understand friends and loved ones. I recommend it.
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